I drove 9 hours from Illinois to Dordt upon my mother’s request because I truly do appreciate all the support that she has given me throughout my 17 years of education. It has taken this long for me to truly realize not only the financial support she has given me, but also the pure love of academic work that she helped me develop early on. So thanks Mom :) Where would I be without your constant encouragement and interest in my pursuit of learning?
But truly, I do not see the importance of traditions like a graduation ceremony as much as she does. I’m pinning it on the generation gap that separates us, because while seeing me matriculate was a big event for mom, it held absolutely no significance for me. In my eyes, I got up early on one of my first days off in a long time, in order to cover up my nicely straightened hair and pretty new dress and shoes with an oversized black shoulder padded gown and hat/tassle combo. I lined up next to students I didn’t know and then sat down on a brightly lit stage. I heard an unknown professor of exercise science give a bland speech about how I must now integrate a mission into whatever profession I choose. I heard my name called, walked across the stage into the spotlight, shook the hand of an overpaid figurehead and then was handed a fake diploma. I took pictures, hugged a few remaining friends, took more pictures, and then it was over.
I don’t feel differently now that I officially graduated. I am not more qualified for a job. And I am no closer to finding my “calling.” Now all I have is a signed piece of paper, a 9 month grace period on my student loans, and an empty place in my heart where academic work once resided (yes, I loved it that much). I definitely did not get the closure that I wanted.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Endings
I know I’ve failed at this blogging thing. Remember at the beginning of the semester when I promised to write once a week?? I guess this is one of those times when life has gotten in the way of some of my plans. I’m sorry that it’s been awhile, but over the next few posts I’ll try describe the end of my semester and some of my future plans now that I’ve graduated.
Part of the reason why I find it incredibly difficult to sum up my semester is due to the fact that my experiences have varied so widely. Honestly I cannot begin to accurately describe everything I have seen, the people I have met, and the “firsts” that I have experienced.
I would have to say that the last half of my internship was a more diverse, satisfying, and challenging experience than the beginning of the semester. I was doing much of the same work (which I detailed in earlier posts), but I was able to have more personal responsibility. During my mid-term evaluations, my supervisor, Lisa, and I were able to develop new goals related to working with groups and completing brief research projects. Some of these responsibilities included:
1. Participating in client home visits by providing educational materials
2. Researching and developing a presentation on STDs/HIV which I gave during the Health Support Team’s monthly meeting.
3. Finalizing the updated resource list, including new listings I compiled for furniture, legal aid, clothing, and food banks.
4. Researching TANF (Temporary Aid for Needy Families) that impacts my specific client population. Paid special attention to the ways that the policy enables/prohibits my clients from achieving their goals.
5. Presenting a case study and resource materials during the MSW group supervision time.
6. Compiled results from the Centering prenatal support group in massive spreadsheets. Subsequently made appropriate recommendations for improvement.
I found these new work responsibilities very fulfilling because of the chance that I had to develop several different social work competencies. Now I think I understand the importance of things I learned about in college like research informed practice and practice informed research. I have begun to develop a level of cultural competence that I never developed due to the lack of diversity I experienced growing up. I also feel much more comfortable working with groups due to the opportunity I had to put my practice skills into action this semester.
Looking back, I know recognize that my attention was focused mainly on improving my interpersonal style by observing the experienced workers interact with clients during the beginning of the semester. I learned a lot about the different characteristics that I want to incorporate in my own practice. One of the main things I need to work on is speaking slowly. Honestly, you have no idea how much the rate of speech can impact a social worker’s practice. In my opinion, speaking slowly and deliberately allows the client to understand that I truly care, I’m not rushing anything or making choices for them. I also hope to learn to convey empathy, genuineness, trust, openness, and honestly through those interactions. Sorry this is a very “social-workey” way to describe the things I’ve learned, but hopefully you get the main point.
I remember my first Practice Methods class in college which focused on micro practice (with individuals mainly). Honestly, I sucked at that class. My internship supervisor once laughed at me when I told her how painfully awkward my role play interviews with pretend “clients” were during the class. The thing is that I have no problem interacting with people when I do not have the pressure of the requirements and limitations of a professional relationship. I’m sure that it’s mostly a head thing for me, but I can be really really awkward in those types of situations. I highly value the time I had at the beginning of the semester to observe experienced workers and reflect on the characteristics that I want to incorporate in my own practice.
I had a lot of time to reflect on my internship experience at the end of the semester, and once again it’s hard to sum up everything that I have gained during my work. I came to Chicago a scared country girl, with very little real world experience. Throughout my experience here, I was challenged to develop skills, pushed to focus on core competencies, stretched to broaden my perspective of the needs of my clients, and generally forced to open my eyes and ears to a world I didn’t really know existed. It’s impossible to even begin to thank my supervisors for providing me with the diverse work responsibilities I had a chance to be involved in and the general guidance they provided for me daily.
Even though my internship didn’t necessarily clarify my future goals, I believe it gave me a pretty strong practice foundation that will be useful in whatever I do. I just want to point out the fact that I worked for an entire semester with pregnant women and children! Um, if you know me at all, that in itself is amazing. I have always found children mildly revolting. Now, I feel like I have developed a pretty strong interest in Maternal Health, especially as it is related to international development efforts and female empowerment. I actually went into Chicago Semester thinking that I would work at a major urban hospital. I was a little disappointed by my internship options during my interviews because they both dealt with maternal health. Little did I know that this experience would spark an interest that I now want to develop into a career. Sometimes these things just fall into our laps for a reason.
Finally I would like to thank the people that made my internship so enriching. A big thanks goes out to my supervisors, Lisa, Adrienne, and Nicole. Thanks also to my co-workers who welcomed me from the start, answered my many questions, and were a constant source of support and encouragement: Christina, Rebekah, Lupeda, Nichole, Dara, Allyson, Erin, Joscelyn, Lance, Amalia, Leticia, Carrie, Taz, and Celia. I know everyone reading this has no idea who these people are, but they have all been invaluable to my development during this past semester.
Part of the reason why I find it incredibly difficult to sum up my semester is due to the fact that my experiences have varied so widely. Honestly I cannot begin to accurately describe everything I have seen, the people I have met, and the “firsts” that I have experienced.
I would have to say that the last half of my internship was a more diverse, satisfying, and challenging experience than the beginning of the semester. I was doing much of the same work (which I detailed in earlier posts), but I was able to have more personal responsibility. During my mid-term evaluations, my supervisor, Lisa, and I were able to develop new goals related to working with groups and completing brief research projects. Some of these responsibilities included:
1. Participating in client home visits by providing educational materials
2. Researching and developing a presentation on STDs/HIV which I gave during the Health Support Team’s monthly meeting.
3. Finalizing the updated resource list, including new listings I compiled for furniture, legal aid, clothing, and food banks.
4. Researching TANF (Temporary Aid for Needy Families) that impacts my specific client population. Paid special attention to the ways that the policy enables/prohibits my clients from achieving their goals.
5. Presenting a case study and resource materials during the MSW group supervision time.
6. Compiled results from the Centering prenatal support group in massive spreadsheets. Subsequently made appropriate recommendations for improvement.
I found these new work responsibilities very fulfilling because of the chance that I had to develop several different social work competencies. Now I think I understand the importance of things I learned about in college like research informed practice and practice informed research. I have begun to develop a level of cultural competence that I never developed due to the lack of diversity I experienced growing up. I also feel much more comfortable working with groups due to the opportunity I had to put my practice skills into action this semester.
Looking back, I know recognize that my attention was focused mainly on improving my interpersonal style by observing the experienced workers interact with clients during the beginning of the semester. I learned a lot about the different characteristics that I want to incorporate in my own practice. One of the main things I need to work on is speaking slowly. Honestly, you have no idea how much the rate of speech can impact a social worker’s practice. In my opinion, speaking slowly and deliberately allows the client to understand that I truly care, I’m not rushing anything or making choices for them. I also hope to learn to convey empathy, genuineness, trust, openness, and honestly through those interactions. Sorry this is a very “social-workey” way to describe the things I’ve learned, but hopefully you get the main point.
I remember my first Practice Methods class in college which focused on micro practice (with individuals mainly). Honestly, I sucked at that class. My internship supervisor once laughed at me when I told her how painfully awkward my role play interviews with pretend “clients” were during the class. The thing is that I have no problem interacting with people when I do not have the pressure of the requirements and limitations of a professional relationship. I’m sure that it’s mostly a head thing for me, but I can be really really awkward in those types of situations. I highly value the time I had at the beginning of the semester to observe experienced workers and reflect on the characteristics that I want to incorporate in my own practice.
I had a lot of time to reflect on my internship experience at the end of the semester, and once again it’s hard to sum up everything that I have gained during my work. I came to Chicago a scared country girl, with very little real world experience. Throughout my experience here, I was challenged to develop skills, pushed to focus on core competencies, stretched to broaden my perspective of the needs of my clients, and generally forced to open my eyes and ears to a world I didn’t really know existed. It’s impossible to even begin to thank my supervisors for providing me with the diverse work responsibilities I had a chance to be involved in and the general guidance they provided for me daily.
Even though my internship didn’t necessarily clarify my future goals, I believe it gave me a pretty strong practice foundation that will be useful in whatever I do. I just want to point out the fact that I worked for an entire semester with pregnant women and children! Um, if you know me at all, that in itself is amazing. I have always found children mildly revolting. Now, I feel like I have developed a pretty strong interest in Maternal Health, especially as it is related to international development efforts and female empowerment. I actually went into Chicago Semester thinking that I would work at a major urban hospital. I was a little disappointed by my internship options during my interviews because they both dealt with maternal health. Little did I know that this experience would spark an interest that I now want to develop into a career. Sometimes these things just fall into our laps for a reason.
Finally I would like to thank the people that made my internship so enriching. A big thanks goes out to my supervisors, Lisa, Adrienne, and Nicole. Thanks also to my co-workers who welcomed me from the start, answered my many questions, and were a constant source of support and encouragement: Christina, Rebekah, Lupeda, Nichole, Dara, Allyson, Erin, Joscelyn, Lance, Amalia, Leticia, Carrie, Taz, and Celia. I know everyone reading this has no idea who these people are, but they have all been invaluable to my development during this past semester.
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