Graduation does not equal closure

I drove 9 hours from Illinois to Dordt upon my mother’s request because I truly do appreciate all the support that she has given me throughout my 17 years of education. It has taken this long for me to truly realize not only the financial support she has given me, but also the pure love of academic work that she helped me develop early on. So thanks Mom :) Where would I be without your constant encouragement and interest in my pursuit of learning?

But truly, I do not see the importance of traditions like a graduation ceremony as much as she does. I’m pinning it on the generation gap that separates us, because while seeing me matriculate was a big event for mom, it held absolutely no significance for me. In my eyes, I got up early on one of my first days off in a long time, in order to cover up my nicely straightened hair and pretty new dress and shoes with an oversized black shoulder padded gown and hat/tassle combo. I lined up next to students I didn’t know and then sat down on a brightly lit stage. I heard an unknown professor of exercise science give a bland speech about how I must now integrate a mission into whatever profession I choose. I heard my name called, walked across the stage into the spotlight, shook the hand of an overpaid figurehead and then was handed a fake diploma. I took pictures, hugged a few remaining friends, took more pictures, and then it was over.

I don’t feel differently now that I officially graduated. I am not more qualified for a job. And I am no closer to finding my “calling.” Now all I have is a signed piece of paper, a 9 month grace period on my student loans, and an empty place in my heart where academic work once resided (yes, I loved it that much). I definitely did not get the closure that I wanted.